a rvier runs through us

it occured to me this morning that
,if asked,
i could explain the difference
between sex and
"making love"

you see,
the first time i had sex,
i remembered breaking a beaker in chem.
distilled chemicals across the floor
and the sounds of shards and fear
(also
my mother-scared-crying)

but
the first time i had sex
with a man i loved
i thought about ee cummings

"i like my body when it is with your
body"

------

this is the abyss that separates love
and games